Thursday, February 28, 2008

Potty training!

Tom: Hi, I'm Tom Googler and -

Trix: - and I'm Trix Googler! We have SIX children. SIX! One set of twins, and one set of quadruplets! How will we ever afford the basic necessities?

Tom: Like food!

Trix: And ski trips to Utah!

Tom: I finished building the greenhouse, so we can save money by growing our own organic food.

Trix: Our Tricia is turning into quite the little gardener! She won't go to bed until she's done pulling the weeds!

Tricia: Mommy said we'd starve unless I took good care of the plants.

Tom: Kids say the darndest things!

Tammy: I'm not doing any stupid gardening. Daddy said I could eat supper with the rest of the family if I raked leaves.

Trix: We have been blessed by someone that loves our family! Big Ed from Big Ed's Audio & TV gave us a new TV! So we can watch educational programs! We really appreciate Big Ed's Audio & TV, home of satellite TV!

Tom: It helped to take the stress out of potty training four toddlers -

Trix: Four toddlers! Potty training quadruplets! It's so exhausting! But it had to be done!

Tammy: Tracey pooped in her underwears!

Trix: I was tired of walking into the nursery and smelling poop! I'm exhausted!

Trix: Tom wants to get a promotion and a better salary, but he couldn't study and learn new skills when he had to keep changing diapers!

Tom: We were blessed to have my great-great-aunt Jenny come over and do the housecleaning while we were doing potty training.

Trix: She loves us so much! With her helping around the house, I was able to get some R&R. Because I'm SO EXHAUSTED looking after six kids! SIX!

Trix: Potty training wasn't going very well. Would they ever learn? I was EXHAUSTED!

Tom: And I was trying to teach the babies to speak at the same time.

Tom: Can you say "Thanks for the free high chairs, Frank's Family Furniture, located downtown on 7th Avenue with free parking?"
Travis: Ahbugpfffst!

Trix: We really appreciate the free high chairs! I use them all the time when feeding the quadruplets organic mush! It's EXHAUSTING making organic mush, but the high chairs clean up so quickly!

Tammy: Thank great-great-great Auntie Jenny for the clean high chairs!

Tom: Finally, Tracey figured out how to use a potty! We had a toddler out of diapers!

Trix: Tim pooped in the potty right after Tracey! Yay Tim!

Tom: While Travis was a little slower to get out of diapers...

Trix: ... he got potty trained soon!

Tom: During all of this training -

Trix: - this EXHAUSTING training -

Tom: - one of our toilets got clogged. For some reason, our toilets clog a lot.

Trix: I couldn't BELIEVE the plumber! We told her we were the FAMOUS Googler family with SIX kids - and she charged us full price!

Trix: I mean, we are living on ONE salary and I am SO EXHAUSTED from picking up after the kids - wait - why is an upstairs toy in the downstairs toy box?!? I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!

Tom: I made supper for everyone that night while Trix rested and watched some TV.

Trix: I'm FINE, I'm just - hey, old woman! You're blocking my view of All My Children!

Tricia: Great-great-great Auntie Jennie doesn't babysit for us now.

Tammy: Mommy says she doesn't love us any more.

Tom: Finally, our potty training nightmare ended, when Tara figured it all out.

Trix: We all slept very well that night!

Tammy: 'Cept for Tricia. She had to spray the plants for bugs.

Next episode - the family goes on a trip!


MadameUgly said...

I read a rant about "plus 8" hijacking the friendly skies by dragging their unruly brood on a "I need to fill my scrapbook with memories, damnit" trip.

I look forward to seeing your take on it.

I'm sure it will EXHAUST you.

Ruth said...

Hilarious! Well done.

lesliek143 said...

You are obviously a spinster virgin, but still aren't there better ways to spend your time? I am not exactly a Jon and Kate plus 8 enthusiasist but cmon trying to live out their lives under the ruse of making "fun" of the family. It positively reeks of pathetic desparation. And I have to say some major jealousy.

Just to let you know, this is Leslie K. As a Calgary native, I have seen your disgustingly proportioned, ginger (unfortunately unattractive redhaired person), ruddy complexioned, fat arse waddling about. Now that I am equipped with the knowledge of how truly pathetic you are, I will not hesitate to give you the swift kick in the face you so rightly deserve.

Just some friendly advice! :) It is clear you have too much time on your hands. Why not do something productive and beneficial for the good of society? I know! Jump off a cliff, yay. We've got enough fat, ugly gingers running amok.

momof2feet8paws said...

Truly hilarious! I love it! Great Job! I'm looking forward to the next episode in your saga. Also, maybe a prequel involving begging for donations before the gaggle was born and refusing unmatched cribs? Just an idea :)

nanceelee said...

I have only enough energy to leave a short post for you, because laughing at T&T+6 has left me EXHAUSTED!

I love your simmyness, keep it up! I so hope that the real deal sees your fun, and realizes what a circus they put on for us every week. Unfortunate for the gosslings, however--living in a circus everyday is no fun and quite exploitative!

lesliek143—You must be a supporter of Dionne-like child exploitation? I also think it should be a rule, that all online posters that give negative feedback regarding someone's appearance should be required to post photos of their fabulous selves. Real photos, not something beautiful grabbed online.

Keep it up T&T+6, you are beautiful!

Elizabeth said...

Leslie, do real grown-ups truly leave blog comments that criticize others' appearances? Wow. You must be a perfect specimen. Yes, let's see a photo, please! I, for one, would love to be a "ginger."

As for Tom and Trix -- please keep it coming. Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

omg...i am sooooooooooooooooo exhausted and i've only read through chapters 1 and 2. i think i have to go jump off a cliff now.

love the story line. LOVE IT!!!! keep it up.

okay, i have more energy now to go read the rest of the chapters! hee hee

Bubbs said...

OMG love the blog!!! How will she survive??