Sunday, March 16, 2008

We go on a trip!

Tom: Hi, I'm Tom Goo-

Trix: - and I'm Trix! We're the Googlers! We have SIX children! Two twins! Four quadruplets! Yikes!

Tom: So the quads are learning how to walk, and that's very exciting.

Trix: But what is really exciting that a lodge in Utah gave us a free trip! I hoped I would get a massage! I'm EXHAUSTED!

Tom: Our friends Stephen and Zelda -

Trix: - who LOVE us -

Tom: - agreed to come along and help with the quadruplets.

Trix: We REALLY appreciate their help!

Tom: We had to leave at 4 am, which was a little crazy.

Trix: Tom, I told you why, so the babies would sleep on the plane!

Tom: We didn't count on a layover in Sioux City. It was snowing really bad so they put us in the VIP lounge at the airport to wait it out.

Trix: VIP lounge, my ass. It was a horrible plain little room and we were stuck there with SIX KIDS.

Tom: Well, we had toys for the kids and some books and magazines.

Trix: Not good enough! They should have given us a room with a TV! Or some free Ipods!

Tom: Okay, it was a challenge trying to keep the kids happy.

Trix: Tammy picked the wrong time to try and hug Mommy. I was EXHAUSTED!

Trix: I may have gone a little crazy in there. I was so EXHAUSTED! I decided to take everyone's misery onto myself! I cried for everyone!

Tom: I don't think it helped, honey.

Tom: Finally we got to Utah and the lodge.

Trix: It was all right. I replaced all the carpets and bedding so that we wouldn't come into contact with anyone's germs.

Tom: The kids and I liked it. It was hard to get the twins to bed, they were so excited to see all the snow.

Trix: I had no problems getting to sleep. I was EXHAUSTED!

Tom: The next morning, Stephen and Zelda took care of the quadruplets and I took the twins out for skating lessons.

Trix: I had woken up with the worst headache of my entire life, so I slept in while everyone else got ready. A massage made me feel all better!

Tom: Skating didn't go well at first.

Tom: But we had lots of fun. It was really great to spend time with just the twins. I made sure to spend some alone time with each of my girls.

Tom: I was really surprised by how quickly Tricia picked up skating. She was able to do some twirls!

Trix: I made organic hot cocoa for everyone. And cleaned to my heart's content.

Tom: That night, Stephen and Zelda watched the kids while Trix and I had a romantic supper.

Trix: Because we REALLY appreciate their help, we gave them the mints off of our pillows!

Tom: The next morning, Stephen and Zelda took the twins skiing. I took the quadruplets outside so they could play in the snow.

Trix: Just think of the memories they will have!

Tom: I had so much fun with them. I don't know why Trix can't handle all four at once at home.

Trix: Because I'm always EXHAUSTED! But I wasn't exhausted after my morning massage!

Tom: You even came outside!

Trix: I did! I loathe snow, I despise winter, I hate everything outdoors, actually. Germs are everywhere! But we got free winter jackets so I thought I ought to wear mine at least once.

Tom: And we REALLY appreciate the free winter coats and skates from Mountain Lodge Gear!

Trix: The lodge was just beautiful. Tammy really had fun in the pool, after I disinfected it.

Tom: And Tricia learned how to play "Chopsticks" on the piano in the lobby. If only we had a piano at home.

Trix: And a violin! Wouldn't it be great if we had a piano and a violin?

Trix: When we found out I was pregnant with the quadruplets, we thought we would never be able to afford trips, but now we can!

Tom: Technically, we can't afford trips, this one was free.

Trix: Shut up, Tom.

Tom: It was a great vacation. I found a secret map to a secret location, and I met Bigfoot! It turns out he likes to play hacky-sack.

Trix: I had so many great massages. And I enjoyed the sauna too!

Tom: I got to spend lots of time with the twins and we had a lot of fun, just the three of us.

Trix: Did the lodge people ever explain how a penguin was running loose? Talking about architecture?

Tom: They said it escaped from a zoo.

Trix: We couldn't have a vacation without Tammy doing something to screw it up. She's into bug collecting now, and she got stung by a bunch of bees.

Tom: So we went home on a low note. But we REALLY appreciated the trip!

Trix: And for once - I wasn't exhausted!


preesi said...

OMG Angela?
It was great....
Spot on!

lesliek143 said...

I find it appalling that you continue your stupid "game" of making fun of the young children on Jon and Kate plus 8.

It doesn't matter so much about Jon and Kate because they are grown adults but the fact that you and your fat ginger self find it HILARIOUS to poke fun and mock the young children on the show is DEPLORABLE and you should be taken down for it, you fat fuck.

The little kids on the show are innocents, 3 and a half and 7 are not ages where it can be deemed appropriate to make a mockery of them on some stupid sims game. Like most gingers you are a fucking twat.

Elizabeth said...

Leslie, dear, please see someone who can assist you in solving your obvious emotional-health issues. I guess a red-haired doctor would be out of the question, though?

Another fabulous installment! Keep 'em coming, please!

Calanna said...

I find it hilarious that you continue your wonderful satire, making fun of the narcissistic Kate and passive Jon on Jon and Kate Plus 8. I appreciate that it's the parents you are lampooning, and I share your concern for the children that are being exploited.

Like most gingers, you have a wonderful sense of humor and I can't wait for the next installment!

nanceelee said...

Awww, Lesliek...we are waiting to see that fabulous photo of yourself, as you must be quite a beauty to behold, with the disdain you show others. Would your real estate clients appreciate the language that you post with? Google yourself, it's not hard to find info online.

Good job with Tom & Trix! If the Gosselins didn't air their dirty laundry all over the place, there would be none of this for them or others to worry about. Free Mady! (and the others)

lesliek143 said...

nanceelee, you are a complete idiot if you think you know SO MUCH about me based on my first name and my last initial. Real estate? Where do you get this garbage? If you MUST know I work in the music industry.

And I normally don't go around flaunting my looks because I know I am more than what I look like, but just to prove you shriveled twats wrong, I guess I will oblige. I used to model in my youth so you will be hard pressed to say I am ugly. And if you do, I will know you are lying.

Some pictures to satisfy your curiousity (in the group pics, I am the blonde one and the professional shots are from my modeling days approx. 7 years ago):

Enjoy the eye candy, I'm sure many of you are much deprived. I still stand by what I said about fucking fat gingers having no right to pick on innocent kids.

Like I said before I am not a Jon and Kate plus 8 enthusiasist but I've watched it enough to know that the family is beautiful and loving and I find it deplorable for a ginger fatty to spend their time poking fun and I'm sure, on some subconscious level, living vicariously through that pathetic sims game.

I am perfectly within my rights to be outraged over this as it involves the mockery of young innocents and I am certain there is some underlying misplaced hatred (you know which kind) that fuels these posts.

lesliek143 said...

Here it is again, since it was cute off in the other post:

nanceelee said...

Great, you go me, wrong Lesliek from Calgary. My bad. However, that said, why do you come here? Go back to the studio, where you must be happier.

Once again, if Jon and Kate didn't involve their children in a circus, they could not be involved in satire such as this. The Gosselins allow their own children to be filmed in whatever private moments and the Gosselins choose to have their children live with production/camera crews and studio sets for much of their lives. Some of us really are trying to make social change for children in reality television. It may not happen soon enough for the Gosselins, but what we do and communicate does work toward social change.

Leslie--if you have children, or will have children, would you allow them to grow up in the studio? We have tried to make changes for these children. The only change we have been able to make so far is to get the nude footage on YouTube taken down, after being viewed over 12000 times. Perhaps the stories posted here will be one more avenue to get the Gosselins to realize how they are exploiting their children. Who signed the contracts, who decided to finance the family through exploitation? That was done long before Tom and Trix showed up.

nanceelee said...

My goodness, woman--take your meds.

lesliek143 said...

Let me explain my outrage over this kind of hatefilled satire as well as the others that exist on the internet. Like I have said I don't watch the show as religiously as some of you are obviously doing and I have seen it in passing enough to know that the kids are beautiful and their parents are doing their job as parents to love them and provide for them.

The kids remind me of my nieces and nephews mostly because of the similar background and I know that my sister is an avid fan of the show. My nieces and nephews similarly get ATTACKED by surprise surprise fat ginger assholes who look at my sister's "betrayal of her kind" as a detriment to society. It is DISGUSTING and I will never encourage the slandering of Jon and Kate plus 8 because I know deep down all of the hatefilled blogs, forums and all that junk are founded on something really sinister and hateful.

Why does this show more than any other get so much negative feedback? It's not like the kids are Ashley and Mary Kate fucking Olsen who are WORKING for most of their lives. The show captures kid like moments and the kids are ENJOYING their vacation and goody-filled lives regardless of how unconventional it may seem to all you darkage folk.

Unconventional being the key word. I applaud a major network for showcasing a family that is not conventional for breaking the barriers that formerly existed. It is REFRESHING and puts smiles on my sister's face and her family's.

No, nanceelee, I do not have kids and if I ever do, WHO I choose to produce children with and HOW I choose to raise my children will be my choice. As long as I'm not beating them senseless and acting like your typical TRASHY, DISGUSTING mother, I will not expect an intervention or random people butting in telling me how to live my life.

And let me clarify that I do not KNOW the person who runs this hatefilled garbage blog but I do KNOW her kind. Ginger fatfucks who look at unconventional children with an upturned nose and think it's absolutely HILARIOUS to poke fun of them and generally lessen them and their role in the world. It is no coincidence that it's always some GINGER FATTY who gets all a hither about my sister's union with her husband and the subsequent gorgeous children they have produced. I ALWAYS say they can jump off a cliff and take a kick swift in the face. They deserve it and need it.

The amount of HATE that is on the net for specifically THIS FAMILY, not the spoiled whores on that stupid orange county show or the stripper pumping machines over on the E network, never fails to shock me. Why THIS SHOW and not the countless nasty others? "The kids are getting exploited, Kate's a money grubbing fucker", ETCetc all a guise to veil the actual kind of hatred that fuels these things.

If you REALLY want to make a change in society for children, why not do something NOBLE? Like volunteer at a battered women's shelter, abused children's center, etcetc. Why waste all your energy focusing on THIS FAMILY? Does it bother you that much that they are so different? It does and always will make me sick.

nanceelee said...

I do children's advocacy in the juvenile court systems. I volunteer on behalf of exploited, abused, neglected, and whatever you might imagine, children. It's a court appointed position. I know what exploitation is. My advocacy requires hours and hours of training, and yet is done on a volunteer basis. I do all the illustration and design for this advocacy group pro bono, as well. I know of what I speak.

Powerless children need powerful friends.

I won't answer to your bigotry again.

Angela said...

Okay, the comments here need a time out. I'm turning them off.

Leslie dear. After I read your very first comment, do you know what I did? I reported you to Blogger for violating the Terms of Use for threatening personal violence. And then I went to my local Canadian Blood Services clinic, and spent 70 minutes with a needle in my arm donating blood platelets. In Canada, blood donors are not paid. This is something I do on a regular basis - I have the ideal blood type to donate blood platelets, and I often get called to donate, because I've been matched with a patient who needs my particular blood and antigens. It's not a comfortable process, but I figure the people who need my blood platelets have it far worse than I do. Being told the brief details of the patient's situation - a woman my own age, who has leukemia, for example, makes me forget the discomfort of the procedure and stick it out. To help a person I will never meet. Because I can.

You can read about this process at if you don't believe me.

I tell you this, because the person you are spewing your hate at - is not the person I am. I don't know this useless ginger fat fuck you hate. She isn't me.

By the way, thanks to SiteMeter, I know how often you are viewing this site. You certainly do spend a lot of time on it, don't you?

I am not interested in telling you more about the person I am, refuting each and every one of your untrue thoughts, because I believe you don't want to hear it. You have made up your mind based on very few facts, and I just don't think you can see through your hate to read my words.

Please note that I have not called you any names, nor am I about to. This is the one time I will respond to your hate, because I want to explain why I'm shutting off comments. It's not because you have insulted or upset or shamed me. Remember, I am not the person that you are directing your words to. It's because reading these comments is a waste of my time, and I barely have time enough for everything that is going on in my life.

I sincerely hope you step away from the computer and breeeeeathe. Go do something fun with your nieces and nephews.

jordan said...

you know what? i am probably the biggest jon & kate plus 8 fan alive but i trult do find this funny because this is how some people see this family even though it's not all the way true it still gives me something to laugh at and i think you should keep going

Anonymous said...

HEE HEE!!!! Kill me now! This is so great. My office mates are going to start thinking I'm nuts for sitting in my office and laughing my butt off every few minutes.

I love this parody. Off to read some more if I don't get a Trix Hangover first. (I can't watch the show because Kate makes me...well, she gives me a horrible headache with all her anal retentiveness).

Bubbs said...

Great episode. Sorry you seem to have haters, but oh well. I love how you have done a ts2 blog on the show. :)